First, guys, I want to apologize for lack of new reviews. It's not that I don't love you anymore, or that I don't have things planned, or that I don't have have literally oodles of cool stuff waiting in my apartment. It's really this: Gigi has not been going through the greatest time with her lupus these last six months or so...and to be honest, food and I just aren't feeling the love for each other much these days, no matter how much I want to. Yeah, I could fake my way through using my visual take on it, my sense of smell, and third party opinions -- but don't I think that's fair to you, and it's a hell of a lot less fun for me. So, I continue to thank you for your patience with me.
But you know, sometimes you just have to take one for the team. And if there happen to be marshmallows involved...well, let's just say I am willing to deal a little more than I might have been otherwise. So when I saw the box of Marshmallow Pebbles on the supermarket shelf, I practically ran home, spoon in hand, spilling soy milk in my wake. If only I had done a Google search before I bought it! Both Grub Grade and Yum Yucky have reviewed it (click on their names to read their reviews), and had I seen those I would have saved myself $1.99.
The first thing that hits you when you open the box is the awful aroma; a nauseating, overpowering mix of sugar and fake vanilla. It's what I imagine weapons of mass destruction would be scented like if terrorists decided that making them smell vaguely candy-like would up their PR factor after the incident. (Cease and desist email from Post legal should be hitting my inbox right...about...now!) Seriously, it's a really vile odor. And I love the smell of marshmallow as a rule.
When I think of a Pebbles cereal, be it fruity or cocoa (both of which I like, for the record), I've come to expect the Pebbles themselves to be on the smaller, thinner side. They don't hold their crunch long, but they do have a snappy, yet airy texture that I really like when I indulge.
But these Pebbles were almost as weird as they smelled. In terms of size and appearance they reminded me of a crispy rice type of cereal -- only they're heavier and more dense than that. In terms of texture and taste, they actually reminded me of the Jumbo Rice Krispies. And if you read that review, you will see I didn't like that cereal either. Well, guess what -- I liked these Pebbles even less. Between the non-Pebbles texture and the not-oaty, not-rice, just not-good taste of the cereal...blecccch! I will be honest with you; I was just done.
You may have noticed there is no picture of the cereal in milk. And there won't be. I ate a bowl pre-review because I just couldn't wait. (I have got to learn to work on my patience.) And after that, I might as well have skipped the review entirely: Clearly I have had nothing nice to say about it!
But then it occurred to me that this box -- that otherwise had no redeeming value whatsoever -- could finally allow me to indulge one secret lifelong fantasy...
...yes...I admit it...I have long dreamed of eating a bowl of nothing but cereal marshmallows. So, yes, I indulged my lifelong fantasy! Damning and humiliating photos to follow.
As you see here, I was panning for marshmallows:
And this is my haul:
One box produces one decent sized bowl of marshmallows.
So was my effort worth it? Hell yeah! The actual cereal might have been beyond vile, but that bowl of just marshmallows was great! Would I do it on a regular basis? Well no, but it was a fun experiment. (OK, I totally lied. I would soooooooo buy these marshmallows in bulk if I thought I could justify it!)
So in the end, while this may possibly have been the single worst thing I have eaten in the name of a review, I absolutely loved the marshmallows!
As for the cereal itself? I think Stewie Griffin says it perfectly...
PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket
PRICE:
$1.99
CALORIES:
110 calories per 3/4 cup.
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
postcereals.com
