Dreyers/Edys Fruit Bars: Mango

I should probably admit up front that I have nothing but love for practically the entire line of Dreyers/Edy's Fruit Bars. They are additively refreshing and they are almost always my bedtime snack of choice.

Mango is the newest bar to join the family. Much like the strawberry, blueberry-açaí and the elusive (but irresistible) peach bar, the mango is made up of what I believe is frozen puree--rather than the flavors which are more like simple frozen juice (like the grape bar, etc).



The flavor of this bar is like that of a perfectly ripe mango. Sweet, with that vaguely pine-like flavor and none of that "green" taste that under-ripe fruit can have. The bar finishes with that slightly apricot/peachy aftertaste that seems to be found less when eating an actual ripe mango on its own, and more from products made with mango. I am not sure how much sense that last made--but it tastes good either way. I know a lot of people like to sprinkle a mixture of salt and chili powder on fresh mangos, and I don't see why that couldn't also be done to the bars. I personally don't really like mango that way, so I didn't experiment with it.

The texture of the bar starts melting in your mouth instantly. I know that must sound redundant, but the texture is velvety smooth to the point it reminds me of a chunk-free frozen smoothie. Unlike the juice bars, or even a kids style ice pop that stays reasonably solid as you eat it, these bars go just shy of actual liquid in your mouth. Again, it is one of the best treats on a hot day (or night).

I am even going to so far as to say this flavor is second only to the pineapple, it's just that good!



PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket

PRICE:
$3.99

CALORIES:
80 calories per bar

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Fat free, kosher, gluten free, does not contain nuts.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
dreyers.com

Peanut Butter & Co: The Heat Is On Peanut Butter

One of the upsides of having a food review blog is that friends will often come up with items that they want to see me review. And one of the downsides of having a food review blog is that friends will often come up with items that they want to see me review. No, that's not a typo: that is the double-edged sword that is my life.

Seriously! Sometimes my friends come up with stuff that makes me wonder if they are trying to turn me into their own personal Andrew Zimmern (even the ones who have no idea who Andrew Zimmern is). I believe they see some outrageous items and think to themselves, "Oho, there is just no way Gigi would ever turn down the chance to review a choice delicacy like dill pickle flavored, chocolate covered, durian stuffed Madagascar hissing cockroaches!" (OK, to be fair, I made that up...and if such a product exists, I am happy in my ignorance of it and ask only that it A: Not be brought to my attention, and B: That I not be offered samples.) My whole point is that sometimes I feel like people give me things based on an elementary school gross-out dare.

My sister-from-another-mother, however, is an exception to that rule. Net and I are so physically similar that you could in fact mistake us for sisters -- well, first cousins at the very least -- and she always finds the greatest snack stuff for me to try. (She is completely to blame for my obsession with Herr's Puff'n Corn.) So when she said she had something new for me I was very excited.

And she did not disappoint!

I have been wanting to go to the Peanut Butter & Co shop since I saw them on the Food Network at least ten years ago. Really, how could a peanut butter lover not want to go to a shop that completely revolves around peanut butter? Well, despite many visits to my beloved New York City I have not made it to the shop once. Then, like magic, the company's peanut butter started turning up in stores...and I still somehow never got my hands on any. Net, however, did -- and when she saw a jar of The Heat Is On flavor she picked it up for me. (For the record, she swears by their Dark Chocolate Dream.)

The Heat Is On, as you may have guessed, is a spicy peanut butter -- and lest you doubt that it's spicy, the monkey on the label is holding a little pitchfork. Monkeys would not lie to us.

Even before opening the jar, you can tell that there is going to be a lot going on flavorwise, just by looking at the peanut butter. It's darker than your normal peanut butter; the color being more of a burnt orange than a tan. The butter is also studded with various dots and flecks of spices.

When you open the jar the scent is that of strongly roasted peanuts. You can tell there's an extra something going on, but it's hard to pin down exactly what else it is that you're smelling besides the nuts.



According to the label you don't have to stir the peanut butter, but I did notice some oily buildup on the top -- and I thought that the texture was a bit better for giving it a swirl. The texture is smooth but very thick, though not thick in the sticky manner of any of the mass market brands of choice. There is a slight graininess (though it is not chunky) that I think comes from a combination of the spices and the actual peanuts themselves. I really liked the texture.

The taste -- forgetting the spices for just a second and concentrating on the base -- reminded me of super fresh, just-roasted peanuts. Slightly salty and completely missing the sweetness that my favorite mass market brand has.

Now for the spices! It's going to be hard to go back to plain peanut butter after having spicy (and I may not, actually). The heat is just enough to give you a kick and warm your mouth up, but not enough to have people who aren't as big a fan of heat as I am searching for something to cool off with. On a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of heat for people who are not chiliheads, I would put it at about a 5 or 6 if you are really sensitive.

The spicing is a mix of chili powder, cayenne pepper, crushed red pepper and paprika. (And while it's not listed on the label, I have to wonder if there's not a pinch of garlic in there as well.) To be really lazy, the easiest way I can describe the flavor is to tell you to imagine a peanut butter made with a bag of those "hot" flavored peanuts found at gas stations and mini marts. As someone who has been known to snarf those bags down embarrassingly fast, it stands to reason that I'd love a peanut butter version.

What can I say? I just loved this peanut butter. I have been eating it straight from the jar, but I know it would make great sandwiches or sauces/dressings. Heck, I want to try to make cookies with it! No, I'm not kidding. It's really that damned good.

Thank you, Netters!



PURCHASED FROM:
Gift from my friend

PRICE:
$6.00 on the company website

CALORIES:
190 calories per 2 tbsp

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Gluten free, certified vegan, HFCS free. Contains peanuts (duh)

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
ilovepeanutbutter.com

Hammond's Vanilla Mitchell Sweets

I have been thinking long and hard here (heh, I said long and hard...yeah, I truly am the world's oldest, snickering 12-year-old boy). The immediate issue is that I am writing this on an extended trip to Georgia, far away from the fabled Gigi HQ-cum-Batcave in Southern California. (Nyuck, nyuck...I said cum! Heh, snorts 'n' giggles again!) Thus all the items that I have waiting for me at home -- items that, ideally, I should be writing about right now -- will simply have to wait a bit longer.

Aah, but don't despair! What do friends and relatives give to someone who reviews food that mostly revolves around candy? Well, DUH! The answer is, of course, more candy! (I also squeaked a Nook Color out of the deal, so there's no whining here. I may be emotionally stunted and dwarfed, but the epithet "ingrate" shall never adorn me!) Needless to say, therefore, I am in no short supply of things to write about. The question was where to start.

Well...two of my very favorite things are caramel and marshmallow. And as luck would have it, I am fortunate enough to have an individual Hammond's Candies Vanilla Sweets Marshmallow on hand. Oh, happy day!

You may have seen Hammond's Candies on Food Network programs such as Unwrapped -- and deservedly so. Hammond's, which has been around since 1920, still hand-makes their candies and their Art Candies -- and while I have never tasted them, I can tell you they are beautiful looking (again). Handmade candies require a level of skill and craftsmanship that the candy world is sadly no longer brimming over with. With all that in mind, you can probably understand why I was so excited about trying this marshmallow.



Each marshmallow is about the size of your normal Mega Mart brand -- only, imagine it more squared off than round. I love the minimalist packaging; the confection comes wrapped in a simple waxed paper wrapper with a paper label that seals it closed.

The exterior of the marshmallow is covered in a layer of caramel. Interestingly enough, it leaves both ends exposed (think of how the nori encloses a sushi roll), so that the soft airy center is visible and practically begs you to smoosh it. Yeah, I admit it...I never have to be asked twice when it comes to marshmallow.



The marshmallow has a subtle sugary scent. The caramel wrapper has a soft crackle as you break through the "crust" that is formed by the caramel being exposed to air for however long. And I kind of like that texture -- it reminds me of biting into a maple glazed doughnut. From the company's website photos, it appears that on "fresh" marshmallows, the caramel is softer, slightly more liquid -- but remember that mine was a gift, and has sat here for two weeks now. I thus am unsure which version of the texture is the "true" version.

The flavor is sweet and milky. It's not really a deep burnt sugar-type of caramel, but I think it's perfect. The proportion of caramel to marshmallow is also good. I think that had it been a thicker layer, or if the marshmallow had been completely enrobed it, it would have been overkill.

The marshmallow is the classic thick and sticky kind. The vanilla comes through, but it does so with subtlety. I like this type of marshmallow because it is a such welcome change it from the Mega Mart type. It has an actual texture to it. The sugar doesn't merely melt in your mouth on contact; it dissolves slowly, letting you savor it (should you like to). Simply delicious

And I am sorry to disappoint here, but sadly, there will not any flaming pictures. As we all know, one of the things I love to do with marshmallow anything is to apply the "flame test" to see how good it tastes toasted. Well, my mother -- probably wisely -- decided that letting me play with open flames in her house was not the greatest idea. You can send her email on this at Pret... NO! NO! I am kidding, do not send her hate mail! Then she won't buy me more candy! (Just pimping the system, y'all, candy does not always buy itself!)



PURCHASED FROM:
Whole Foods

PRICE:
$1.25

CALORIES:
No calorie info given.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
May contain trace amounts of eggs, soy, peanuts & tree nuts. Gluten free. Kosher.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
hammondscandies.com

Skittles Fizzl'd Fruits

When Cybele reviewed the new Skittles Fizzl'd Fruits, it was the first time in forever that I was excited to try a Skittles product.

I liked the Sour skittles when they first came out, but I don't really care one way or the other for the current version. I tried the Cores, but never bothered to review them. But these, these FIZZ! How do you not like a candy that could make you look like you have rabies and lets you talk like a rapper, and we all know I likes that fo' sho' (OK, the lame white girlness is showing, lol).



There are five flavors in the mix: Berry Punch, Melon Berry, Raspberry, Strawberry and Wild Cherry. As Cybele pointed out, if you think you've heard this list before, you're right -- because they are the same five flavors used in the Wild Berry mix.

Each Skittle on its own has that sandy, muted look to it -- sort of like the Sour Skittles. Each Skittle seems to have the same sweet, sort of fruity smell. The texture is also the same, regardless of flavor: chewy inside, semi hard crust.

The fizzing starts as soon as the Skittle hits your tongue, and then goes flat after about 10 seconds. It's sort of rough and scratchy on the tongue. I wish the fizz lasted longer because it is a cool sensation. For the heck of it I tried loading up on several Skittles at a time. It doesn't last any longer, but because you have more than one in your mouth it is more intense (gee, that doesn't sound too dirty). It also has an almost salty taste that goes with it -- not enough to stop you from wanting more, but it is there. Putting on my Alton Brown Junior Food Detective Hat, as best I can tell, the salty flavor comes from the sodium bicarbonate that is actually used to make the fizz. As you may have guessed from the word sodium being used in the name, it is in fact a salt and thus would taste salty. Yes folks, hard hitting food journalism is what I got going here.



The above picture shows a happily fizzing Skittle that has been moistened with a drop of simple tap water, so no disgusting, juvenile jokes please! That's my job.

Anyway, let's talk about the flavors.

Two of the five flavors are red. And truthfully, no matter how hard we tried, we just could not get a picture where you could really tell the difference. (When you actually have the real thing in front of you it is a little easier.) The darker red is wild cherry and the lighter red is strawberry. Use your imagination in place of a decent photo for this.

Wild cherry:



If you have ever had a "cherry" cough drop and really wished it was fizzy, then this is your lucky day. The flavor is all fake cherry and red dye. This is always the Skittles flavor I prefer to avoid. In fact, I wonder if anyone in the world really ever likes the cherry flavors that get stuck in these mixes. Maybe it's a vast candy conspiracy. Maybe candy makers have to keep using it because long ago the original batch of cherry flavoring somehow took on a life of its own, and turned into some sort of always-growing amorphous mass (sort of like The Blob), and the only way to keep it in check and prevent it from oozing its way to world domination is to suck out large quantities at a time and use it to flavor what could otherwise have been good candy. The Cherry Flavoring Mass (CFM) is probably imprisoned in some sort of top secret lair buried deep in a mountain where it's closely guarded by security guys in red shirts -- and because we all know what tends to happen to security guys in red shirts, I am sure it's a constantly changing guard. (I wonder if they have to hire via Craigslist?) Candy companies are then forced by our government to come and take some of the goo and use it in their products. Hmmm, you know, now that I have said it, I firmly believe that is the only reason we keep getting subjected to bad cherry flavoring.

OK... that may have been a little far fetched. I highly doubt our government is capable of executing such a complex and secret multi-level plan, much less force it on the public and still keep it a secret. Silly me...it's clearly an evil plot of the Bilderbergs.

Strawberry:



In the normal Skittles mix I actually like this flavor. And for just a moment when it first hits your tongue, it picks up almost a cotton candy taste. Once that wears off I think the lingering aftertaste from the fizz makes it taste sort of like air freshener.

Melon Berry:



This is a nice sour melon. Sort of like unripe cantaloupe mixed with watermelon. I like this flavor a lot on its own. What I found weird is that even though each appears to have the same amount of powdered fizz on them, they don't seem to actually fizz as much as the other flavors. I have no idea why. It must be related some shadowy Masonic plot.

Berry Punch:



This flavor actually reminded me of grape soda, sweet and bubbly. I know it's supposed to be berry flavored, but it just screams grape to me -- maybe it's the purple.

Raspberry:



Again, are there ever enough blue foods? (No, there aren't...and you can surely blame the Illuminati for that.) The fact that it's blue was pretty much the highlight of this Skittle for me. It's not a bad flavor; it's just sort of generic raspberry. And much like the Melon Berry, the fizz level seems unusually low compared to the other flavors.

My feelings overall? Meh. The Wild Berry mix has never been my favorite. I like the Tropical mix the best, actually. So the actual flavors didn't wow me. At the same time, with the exception of the wild cherry, there are no flavors in the mix I would go out of my way to avoid. I really liked the fizzy effect. I just wish it had been more consistent between the flavors. Would I buy them again? No, probably not, but I would eat them if offered to me. I would love to see them try this idea with the soda-inspired flavors, and with the fizz kicked up a little.

Of course, being me, I had to try an experiment. (None of this reflects on the rating -- I did it strictly for fun.) If you sip soda with two Skittles in your mouth, the fizz sensation prolongs a bit. Dropping a couple of Skittles into a little soda gives a super short (about three seconds) Alka Seltzer type fizz in the cup -- but it also makes the Skittle as hard as a rock. I wonder how many skittles and how much soda it would take to make a Diet Coke/Mentos style volcano? Sadly, as Gigi has neither the outdoor space nor the time to test it, the world will have to wait on some other nerd to figure that one out.



PURCHASED FROM:
7-11

PRICE:
$1.09

CALORIES:
200 calories per bag.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Gluten free, gelatin free.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
skittles.com

Dreyers/Edy's Fruit Bars: Pineapple

Ice cold pineapple has got to be one of the most refreshing things on the planet. I love fresh, ripe slices, as cold as possible. One of my favorite places to snack at Disneyland is the long-standing Dole Pineapple Hut. It's at the entrance to Adventureland, and all they sell is pineapple spears, juice, and -- the thing that makes standing in the always outrageously long line worth it: the Dole Whip.



True, there are -- or at least were -- other pineapple Popsicles out there. But they were always aimed at kids, and tasted more like pineapple flavoring rather than actual pineapple juice.

I am not going to blather too much on this one one. These bars are so good it almost, almost, makes me forgive Dreyers/Edy's for making the despicable "Fun Flavors" line (almost).



The sunny yellow bars have the sweet taste of perfectly ripe pineapple, with just a little extra sugar added. And there are little bits of pineapple pulp. It's possible that I may have actually eaten two in a row...purely in the name of providing a good review, of course. I mean, what if they weren't as good as I'd thought they were the first time around? You can never be too sure, right? By the second bar, I think they may have actually been better than I'd first thought. Which means the second bar was entirely justified.

The perfect summer snack! (OK, so it's only spring, I am just thinking ahead. Because one should always be prepared.)



PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket

PRICE:
$1.99

CALORIES:
80 calories per bar.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Fat free, gluten free, nut free, kosher.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
dreyers.com

Peeps: Vanilla Creme Hearts

I know Valentine's Day has come and gone, and with it all the forced romance and tensions it brings (can you tell it is not my favorite holiday?). Still on my quest to try more of the Peeps offerings (and my desire to light candy on fire), I have in my hot little hands a package of the Peeps Vanilla Creme Hearts.



Hmm. These might have been the right Valentine candy for me. Each smooshy white heart has little red speckles on it -- sort of like a case of self-induced Ebola, brought on as a means of suicide as a viable alternative to sitting through one more Meg Ryan movie where she's just sooooooo-o-o-o-o-o damn cute and perky, and yet that mean old Tom Hanks doesn't realize it until three quarters of the way through, and then she may not like him anymore, and then they FINALLY get together and...oh hell, if you don't get the point as to why I would rather have Ebola than sit through that, I don't know what blog you've been reading. And if you dare criticize that ridiculous run-on sentence in this context, I shall wish Ebola upon you.



So how do they taste?

Well, let's talk about the smell first. It is like a mix of vanilla frosting and store brand marshmallows. It's sweet, but in a good way. It reminded me a lot of some perfume aimed at tweens.



That's actually kind of how they tasted, too. And once again, I mean that in a good way. The flavor is strongly on the fake vanilla side -- OK, check that. It's entirely on the fake vanilla side. But it's one of those times when it was just so bad and fake that it was kinda good. It's basically like somewhat solidified, canned vanilla frosting.

Now -- as has become customary on my Peeps reviews -- what happens when you attempt to "toast" them? Remember, kids, Gigi is not saying it is a good idea to play with fire. And toasting of anything should only be done by adults under the strictest of safety. And if you do it anyway and burn your house down, remember I told you not to be a dumb ass.



These Peeps were more flame-resistant than their strawberry siblings, but not as tough to ignite as the Chocolate Mousse Reindeer. They will in fact catch fire, although a bit weakly (which the reindeer wouldn't do at all).

I liked the taste of the Vanilla Creme toasted. It caramelizes easily and tastes more like a regular marshmallow. I may have toasted several just to triple check my opinion on this...

Of the flavored Peeps this one is the best I have had so far!



PURCHASED FROM:
Shop Rite

PRICE:
$.97

CALORIES:
100 calories per 3 heart serving

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Fat free, gluten free

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
marshmallowpeeps.com

O.N.E. Cashew Fruit Drink

Did you know that cashew nuts actually grow attached to a fruit? (Well, to be picky, a pseudo-fruit...but we'll get to that). Well, I didn't! As far as I knew, they were birthed by little blue cardboard containers...but apparently that is not the case. Oh well.

To break down a whole lot of information that I am sure Alton Brown would find fascinating (and could explain far better), the cashew nuts that we all know and love are actually the main fruit of the tree they grow on -- the Anacardium occidentale -- which we are going to be lazy and simply call "the tree." The cashew itself grows in a double shell, and once the cashew has gotten past its "rotten teenager" stage but is not quite a ripe "wise adult," the bottom of the stalk of the nut begins to swell and grows into a fruitlike tumor. ("It's not a toomah!" -- a cookie if you know the movie). OK, I am sure the cashew growers of the world didn't appreciate me calling their fruit a tumor, but if they thought I was missing a pop culture reference, they are clearly not reading the same blog and should head for classier pastures.

In any case, the fruitlike by-product of the cashew is commonly called a "cashew apple." By all accounts I can find, it is not only quite tasty but packed with all sort of vitamins and nutrients. It seems the fruit itself is on the delicate side and does not appear to be mass marketed, but is beloved in the countries the nuts are grown. I could be wrong -- for all I know, your local Whole Foods has a rack of them on sale right now -- but as far as web research went, that doesn't sound likely. If you really want to know more about cashew apples, there were 2,200,000 Google results on the topic, so you could have a few years of reading ahead of you.

So that brings us to this juice made by O.N.E. (which Whole Foods did in fact have a rack of), protected by the magic that is the Tetra Pak. The package makes some pretty impressive claims -- such as that the average cashew flower has more vitamin C than an orange. (Although it does not claim that the pack of O.N.E. juice has that much.) It is fat free, gluten free, and it may help ease sore throats, calm the tummy and promote healthy skin.

It might well do all of those things, and more -- but how does it taste?



The juice looks like really cloudy pineapple juice, and it smells sour. Sour as in a spoiled dairy sort of way. It's enough to give you pause and make you wonder if you should really be drinking this.

Honestly, the first few sips are just plain bad. I kept drinking it only because I could not really describe the flavor. But once you wrap your mind around the fact that the smell and the taste don't entirely match, it does grow on you. (Kinda like a tumor?)



The main flavor reminds me most of honey. Not plain honey, but a flavored honey -- though I couldn't put my finger on what that flavor was. Then it finally came to me that the extra flavor reminds me of peach pits. Have you ever been eating a peach, and as you get to the meat that's clinging to the pit, the flavor of the peach seems to become less sweet, more sour, and a tad citrusy? Well, think of that peach pit, combine it with honey, and that taste is what this drink reminded me of. I can see where some people wouldn't be able to get enough of this juice. Me? I did get enough, thank you. It's not that I thought it was bad, it was just not something I could see myself downing on a regular basis.

Different, but ultimately boring and entirely forgettable.



PURCHASED FROM:
Whole Foods

PRICE:
$1.99

CALORIES:
100 per container (11.2 fluid oz)

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Fat free, gluten free, contains a ton of vitamins, and purports to be non-allergenic

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
onenaturalexsperience.com