Dole Shakers: Mixed Berry Smoothie

I have to admit that I'm the first one to say I don't especially like smoothies. I like the idea of smoothies, but basically it stops there. Of course, as I also feel the need to say for around the four millionth time, I am currently stuck with soft foods only. And since I need to eat/drink things other than just ice cream (oh, don't I wish that could be a full diet!), I have to keep looking for new things. Hence...

The Dole Shakers in Mixed Berry. The Shakers are cool in that you don't need to pull out a blender. (Very helpful if you don't own a blender to start with.) You simply add the juice of your choice--the label suggests apple, orange, or don't-listen-to-us-use-whatever-the-hell-you-want. All right, I made that last part up; they used the far less witty "or your favorite juice." But let's actually follow the instructions in "real time" and disregard my need to ignore authority (AKA I do not feel like repeating myself).

So, first you open the cap. Then you're supposed to shake or break up the contents before adding the juice. Inside the container you will find frozen yogurt pellets and red chunks that I assume are the fruit...that, or the yogurt has Ebola Zaire. Either way, it's not pretty to look at (not that this matters).



Now that things have been loosened up, in comes the juice. I used orange juice because it was what I had on hand. You are supposed to add enough juice to reach the handy-dandy little window in the cup (helpfully shown below).



Next up is the "vigorous shaking for 30-45 seconds."

LIARS! PANTS NOT ONLY ON FIRE, BUT HIGHLY RADIOACTIVE AND SHOULD BE BURIED DEEP BENEATH THE NEVADA DESERT FOR THE NEXT 75,000 YEARS! YES, CAPS LOCK AND MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS NECESSARY HERE, SO SHUDDUP!!!!!

All right, maybe that was a little harsh, but I am grumpy and the above instructions were an epic fail. You see, despite the pre-juice-addition break up, it took more than five full minutes of vigorous shaking to get things fully mixed. (Yes, I did time it.) A decent aerobic workout undoubtedly, but hardly what the instructions indicated. To be fair, I am willing to admit that maybe my smoothie had partially defrosted on the way home from the supermarket and thus turned into something a little more solid than intended upon being re-frozen at home. Entirely possible. But the recommended 30 to 45 seconds just didn't begin to cut it, and I suspect they wouldn't have in any case.

Eventually, after the aforementioned workout, it did thicken up/mix properly and was ready to be put into a glass for your viewing pleasure:



Looks kinda like pink faux-marble, doesn't it? Like that stuff they make bathroom countertops in Florida retirement communities out of, only in liquid form. In any case, the smell was pleasant--just like strawberry yogurt. And regardless of my complaints on the mixing time, I do have to give it points for being pretty darn close to the thickness of a real juice shop smoothie. It was a just a little thinner than a professionally made one...but that was a selling point for me, as I prefer a thinner smoothie anyway.



So how did it taste?

Well, I liked the tangy zing of the yogurt. What I wasn't loving was the berries. Maybe OJ wasn't the best choice to use for a mixed berry smoothie, but it was all I had on hand. (And the label did suggest it, so...) The OJ quickly became the strongest flavor and drowned out the berries until they were merely an aftertaste. Still okay, mind -- but not what I was expecting.

Honestly, this smoothie was better than what I was expecting, and I think that with a different juice it could have actually tasted like berries. I may retry it using a cranberry or cranberry juice blend just to test that theory. (If anyone out there has tried that, what did you think?)

Not bad overall. Just expect to do a lot more shaking than the label tells you.



PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket

PRICE:
$1.99

CALORIES:
100 calories for the contents alone; 190 calories for the contents plus 6.5 oz of orange juice.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Made on equipment shared with products containing eggs, wheat & soy.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
dole.com

Ben & Jerry's Rocky Road-ish (Limited Batch)

Sometimes I wonder if the Universe just likes to screw with me. Why must I be tortured with a flavor like this and have it be only a limited edition? I only have an apartment-sized freezer; there is only so much pint hoarding I can do. (Or, wait...maybe I could rent freezer space from my scary redneck neighbors. I'm sure there must be a little space in between the severed human heads or whatever it is they store in there...well, it's something to consider.) In any event, I am getting ahead of myself. Let's talk about the ice cream before I run off begging. Long-time readers will know what had sent me over the edge in a moment.

Rocky Road-ish is a toasted marshmallow ice cream, with a toasted marshmallow swirl and fudge covered almonds. (Insert fan girl screaming here.) Hey, my love of marshmallow is legendary! If marshmallow is placed in a product, I will go to the ends of the earth to hunt it down. So, as you might have guessed, that combination makes this flavor like my ultimate wet dream. It's like the frozen version of Julian McMahon showing up at my door wearing only a smile. (Ben & Jerry's was the only ice cream he was ever seen eating on Nip/Tuck.) Even though the character of Dr. Troy was a Cherry Garcia man, Julian is welcome to come and partake of my...okay, enough! This review is running off track, even for me. Just give me a minute and some fresh batteries and I will be right back...

*looks around sheepishly...*

Well, I feel better, where was I? Yeah, the ice cream. In what has become the least embarrassing admission in this review--once again, because of dental work recently done, crunchy/hard foods are off the menu--I could not actually partake in the fudge-covered almonds myself. I can tell you that in classic Ben & Jerry chunk form, they were pretty sizable. (Look people, I am already taking the high road by not making any jokes using the words; hard, mouth, nuts or sizable!) They range from pea-sized to what looked like half of an almond. I outsourced the tasting and was told that the fudge is chocolaty and sweet with that slight grainy texture, and the almonds themselves were very crunchy and fresh.



As for the parts I did try: My first suggestion is to do yourself a favor and leave this pint out of the freezer for five or ten minutes (or maybe do a super fast microwave) before eating. Having eaten more pints of this than I am going to admit to, I can tell you that this flavor is 100X more awesome when slightly melty. Once the texture gets soft, the pint almost becomes like the richest, creamiest soft-serve you have ever had. The flavor of the base is indeed toasty (um, duh! the word is in the flavor description twice for a reason). It reminded me of marshmallows just browned over a fire. It's more about the burnt sugar notes, but it is not overly strong or sweet.



The marshmallow swirl: In the past, I have said I would like to die in a vat of the caramel used in Americone Dream. Well, now I would like to revise that statement and die in a vat of the marshmallow swirl instead. If the ice cream tasted like marshmallows toasted on in open fire, the swirl is all about marshmallows just out of the bag. It's sweeter, and there is a nice mellow (mallow?) vanilla note wafting through. But what just cements it for me is that it is like liquid marshmallow. (Dare I to dream?) I know, from top view, it looks as if the swirl is merely a weird darker patch of ice cream--but as you dig into the pint, everything changes. Think of rich, flowing rivers of marshmallow, instead of, say, the sticky gooeyiness of marshmallow fluff or the spongy cloud of one from a freshly opened bag.

Here's the most important thing: This flavor really MUST MUST MUST go from being a limited edition to a full-time flavor...because my life may truly be meaningless otherwise. (Well, that is just kinda sad...)



Be sure to check out what other bloggers said:
The Impulsive Buy
On Second Scoop
And a blog that is new to me that I am really enjoying:
Ben & Jerry's Fanatic

PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket

PRICE:
$3.99

CALORIES:
250 Calories per 1/2 cup serving

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Contains nuts & tree nuts, kosher, awesome

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
benjerry.com