Dole Shakers: Mixed Berry Smoothie

I have to admit that I'm the first one to say I don't especially like smoothies. I like the idea of smoothies, but basically it stops there. Of course, as I also feel the need to say for around the four millionth time, I am currently stuck with soft foods only. And since I need to eat/drink things other than just ice cream (oh, don't I wish that could be a full diet!), I have to keep looking for new things. Hence...

The Dole Shakers in Mixed Berry. The Shakers are cool in that you don't need to pull out a blender. (Very helpful if you don't own a blender to start with.) You simply add the juice of your choice--the label suggests apple, orange, or don't-listen-to-us-use-whatever-the-hell-you-want. All right, I made that last part up; they used the far less witty "or your favorite juice." But let's actually follow the instructions in "real time" and disregard my need to ignore authority (AKA I do not feel like repeating myself).

So, first you open the cap. Then you're supposed to shake or break up the contents before adding the juice. Inside the container you will find frozen yogurt pellets and red chunks that I assume are the fruit...that, or the yogurt has Ebola Zaire. Either way, it's not pretty to look at (not that this matters).



Now that things have been loosened up, in comes the juice. I used orange juice because it was what I had on hand. You are supposed to add enough juice to reach the handy-dandy little window in the cup (helpfully shown below).



Next up is the "vigorous shaking for 30-45 seconds."

LIARS! PANTS NOT ONLY ON FIRE, BUT HIGHLY RADIOACTIVE AND SHOULD BE BURIED DEEP BENEATH THE NEVADA DESERT FOR THE NEXT 75,000 YEARS! YES, CAPS LOCK AND MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS NECESSARY HERE, SO SHUDDUP!!!!!

All right, maybe that was a little harsh, but I am grumpy and the above instructions were an epic fail. You see, despite the pre-juice-addition break up, it took more than five full minutes of vigorous shaking to get things fully mixed. (Yes, I did time it.) A decent aerobic workout undoubtedly, but hardly what the instructions indicated. To be fair, I am willing to admit that maybe my smoothie had partially defrosted on the way home from the supermarket and thus turned into something a little more solid than intended upon being re-frozen at home. Entirely possible. But the recommended 30 to 45 seconds just didn't begin to cut it, and I suspect they wouldn't have in any case.

Eventually, after the aforementioned workout, it did thicken up/mix properly and was ready to be put into a glass for your viewing pleasure:



Looks kinda like pink faux-marble, doesn't it? Like that stuff they make bathroom countertops in Florida retirement communities out of, only in liquid form. In any case, the smell was pleasant--just like strawberry yogurt. And regardless of my complaints on the mixing time, I do have to give it points for being pretty darn close to the thickness of a real juice shop smoothie. It was a just a little thinner than a professionally made one...but that was a selling point for me, as I prefer a thinner smoothie anyway.



So how did it taste?

Well, I liked the tangy zing of the yogurt. What I wasn't loving was the berries. Maybe OJ wasn't the best choice to use for a mixed berry smoothie, but it was all I had on hand. (And the label did suggest it, so...) The OJ quickly became the strongest flavor and drowned out the berries until they were merely an aftertaste. Still okay, mind -- but not what I was expecting.

Honestly, this smoothie was better than what I was expecting, and I think that with a different juice it could have actually tasted like berries. I may retry it using a cranberry or cranberry juice blend just to test that theory. (If anyone out there has tried that, what did you think?)

Not bad overall. Just expect to do a lot more shaking than the label tells you.



PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket

PRICE:
$1.99

CALORIES:
100 calories for the contents alone; 190 calories for the contents plus 6.5 oz of orange juice.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Made on equipment shared with products containing eggs, wheat & soy.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
dole.com

Ritter Sport: Waldbeer Joghurt

It's been a while since my last Ritter Sport review, and I had this bar calling to me from my kitchen.



I've ended up being a fan of all of the joghurt (yogurt) bars in the Ritter line I have had so far. So I had high hopes for the Waldbeer Joghurt bar. All the verbiage on the wrapper was in German, but the picture showed the wild berries were a mix of blueberry, blackberry, and strawberry. Not only are the flavors there, but there are also little bits of dried fruit mixed into the filling. There is also crispy rice, all contained in a neat little milk chocolate square.



The center filling has a pleasant tang to it. I wouldn't pin it down as yogurt if I didn't know what it is -- but I liked it because it kept the bar from being too sweet.

The berry flavor is good, but it's just sort of a generic berry. I can't say that any one of the berries stood out any stronger than the others. It's certainly not bad. There's just nothing about it that made me go, "hmmmmmmmm, blueberry!"

The dried bits of fruit and the rice crisps added a nice bit of crunchy texture. The fruit bits seemed to be almost entirely strawberry.



The milk chocolate was smooth and creamy. The melt is fantastic and rich. There is the perfect ratio of chocolate to the filling, so that you get a good mixture of the two tastes.

This was a really tasty little bar! Jim thought so too, so be sure to check out his review here.



PURCHASED FROM:
The German Deli (Upland, California)

PRICE:
$3.50

CALORIES:
568 calories per bar.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
ritter-sport.com

Tim Horton's Blueberry Bloom Donut

Fear not! This is not going to become an official (or even an unofficial) Donut Week -- but I struck while the donuts were fresh (something different tomorrow, I promise). The second part of my Tim Horton's odyssey is the rather aptly named Blueberry Bloom donut.

I got this one for two reasons:

1. It's blueberry and I love blueberry.
2. It's just cool looking.

The yeast-based donut actually is shaped like a little flower. In the center is a blob of blueberry jam, and on the surrounding petals is a layer of vanilla fondant hidden by blueberry flavored sprinkles. If nothing else can be said about this donut, it sure is pretty and it stands out from its peers.

But how does it taste?

Again, the dough base reminds me a lot of French bread. It's light, but I wouldn't call it airy (like, say, an original Krispy Kreme). It's sweet, but only slightly. It's not heavy or greasy in anyway.



The blueberry jam center is sadly shallow. The jam itself is quite good. Seedless and sweet, it also picks up an almost sour quality when mixed with the vanilla fondant beneath. Yes, it does taste like something that came from a jar. It's not that I expected the kitchen to be filled with little old Canadian grandmothers canning home made preserves -- but that doesn't make it any less good.

The sprinkles added a little crunch and a little extra sweetness. These reminded me more of blueberry-flavored candy than of real blueberry. But I really liked the added texture, so I am not complaining.



The only part I didn't like was the vanilla fondant. Too thick, too sweet, and it reeked of fake vanilla. I could not confirm the use of vanillin, but it's not exactly a stretch to assume it from the flavor.

It's a good donut, but I wouldn't call it a great donut.



PURCHASED FROM:
Tim Horton's (Penn Station, New York City)

PRICE:
$0.95

CALORIES:
230 per donut

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
timhortons.com

Harry & David Blueberry Chocolates

I am one of those people that will eat blueberries on everything (or made into everything). I absolutely love them!

I was doing some Christmas shopping when I came across these. Looking at the packaging, I wasn't sure if the little candies contained whole blueberries, or if they were simply blueberry flavored -- maybe with blueberry pulp or something. "Real fruit inside," as the label proclaims, can be interpreted rather broadly.

WOOHOO! I need not have worried. These are indeed whole blueberries encased in chocolate.



The shiny blue-purple orbs include a good quarter-inch of milk chocolate enrobing the blueberries. The colored outer layer seems infused with blueberry flavoring. It's not the strongest flavor, but it's noticeable.



The milk chocolate is sweet, but it is quite creamy and smooth. You can taste the milk notes. It's not an outstanding chocolate in any way, but it does pair nicely with the blueberries.



The blueberries were fairly large and the texture varied from one piece to another. Some of the blueberries were very plump and juicy. Others were more like a blueberry raisin. I prefer the plump berries, but the contrast in the texture keeps things interesting.

This is one of those candies that you start off eating one or two, and then before you know it, half the bag is gone.

Ooops, I stand corrected: The whole bag is now gone!



PURCHASED FROM:
Barnes & Noble

V8 V-Fusion Pomegranate Blueberry Juice

Thanksgiving has come and gone, it's less than 3 weeks to Christmas, and there is a lot of decking the halls still to do. I also work a lot this time of the year, and it gets harder to have time to have "real" meals. Yeah, sadly, many of my December meals start with Mc-something. But it's still important for me to keep getting all my veggies -- even if I don't have to cook or eat them.

That's right. Thanks to the folks at V8, I can drink them instead. One 8-ounce glass of V-Fusion is like eating a full portion of veggies -- and there's extra vitamins and antioxidants!

Alright, let's be fair. Nutrition is cool and all, but my main motivation here is...does it taste good? Let's find out...



The juice itself looks like a darker version of cranberry juice. It smells kind of like cranberry juice, too. If you didn't know it, you would never guess that there are vegetables hiding in there.



Both the blueberry and the pomegranate play nicely together -- but if you are hoping for a strong, assertive "grown-up" juice experience, you aren't going to find it here. This version is quite mild. The berries taste sweet, the pom adds some tartness. According to the V8 website, the product also contains the juices of carrots, sweet potatoes, purple carrots, tomatoes, apples and white grapes in addition to the main two flavors. I can pick up the carrot (which is fine, as I really love carrot juice), but the other flavors are pretty well hidden.

Personally I prefer my pom juice bolder than this, but that did not stop the bottle from going mysteriously empty quickly. (Of course, I do have juice gnomes in my fridge...). I think that this could also be a good flavor to use to get kids (or other people who dislike change) to try different flavors.

Overall, very nice.



PURCHASED FROM:
Sample From Company

WalMart Old Fashioned Blueberry Pie

When I think of pie, WalMart is not exactly the first name that comes to mind.
Actually, on serious thought, it's not even in the top twenty names that come to mind. But my dad started buying these little blueberry pies and was raving about them. They remind him of little individual pies that were sold when he was a kid. (It was probably nostalgic for him, because they'd just invented fire and the world was going all crazy with convenience foods.)

Anyway...

Each four ounce pie comes in its own cute little tin.



The crust appears on the lighter side in terms of color (it appears deeper in color in the picture than it did in real life). The edges have a bit of golden brown, but if this had come out of my oven I would have put it back in. If I was less lazy, I suppose I could have warmed it in my oven. (Microwaving is out, since the pie is in an actual metal pan and my microwave is the old cheesy kind that would spark.) Besides, I also think it's important to try the product "as is" first, because that is how most people will actually eat it. Only after that can I get as crazy as I want.



The top layer of crust is thin, and is flaky in the most minimal sense of the word. It's not so much the whole crust that's flaky, just the absolute top layer-- it's kinda like crust dandruff. It's bland, not buttery. Not even sweet like a Hostess pie. It's not that it's bad. It's that it's only about as good as you would expect WalMart pie crust to be.



As for the filling: it's a deep and vivid shade of Royal Purple- kinda like if Barney was liquefied in a freak accident. (Accident? Heh!) It's very, very sweet. Think of a pretty standard blueberry jam with about 100 extra tablespoons of sugar. There are little dry shriveled bits that at some point in their lifetime may have been blueberries. But now they're like some sort of raisin of the damned.

As bad as that all sounds, in the end they are no worse (but sadly, no better) than your average supermarket pie. Do I get why my Father likes them so much?-- no, but he's old and maybe some of those taste buds have died off.

Can I still be grounded at my age? That comment may have earned it.




PURCHASED FROM:
WalMart*

Kit Kat Mixed Berry

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Whoppers- Blueberry Limited Edition

I know I have often said there is not enough blue food... and maybe I should stop saying that
I was killing time at Walmart* and poking through the Easter candy and these limited edition Whoppers stood out- mostly because I figured they would be horrifying. I love blueberries but outside of they're natural form and some very traditional food items (pies, pancakes etc) I tend to not like blueberry as a flavoring. But hey...

They are pretty shade of Tiffany blue

The outer glossy shell is not chocolate (thought there is cocoa in there), it's a sugary confection that is blueberry flavored. They short of smell like blueberry air freshener. The blueberry portion tastes kind of like air freshener actually, it's vaguely floral. You smell it more then taste it. It's sweet without any of the blueberry tartness. And to be fair there is not even a pretense that there is any natural flavor in there.

I may not like like the outer layer but I have always liked Whoppers inner malt ball. It's slightly salty, there's a little toasty thing going on. The texture is honeycombed and starts to melt instantly as it hits your tongue.

The malt center coupled with the blueberry coating together well... I feel sorry for the malt ball. But on top of that it also creates almost a Tootsie Roll like aftertaste. The Easter bunny can keep these.

PURCHASED FROM:
WalMart*

Jack In The Box Pomegranate Berry Smoothie

Marvo over at The Impulse Buy actually beat me to reviewing this (read his review HERE) and because I am feeling lazy I have used the same stock photo he did (yeah, sometimes Googling for myself is just too hard)
Since Pom is a wonder fruit will it make me less lazy? probably not- and even if it could the smoothie is so weighted down with sugar that my bloated (from the dairy) yet hyper (from the sugar) self will probably just choose to ooze myself onto the couch with some knitting.

The smoothies are a mix of frozen yogurt, raspberry, blueberry, cranberry and Pom juices (least you think an actual piece of fruit made it any where near your smoothie). Maybe it was just the combo of all the berry juices but to me it tasted the most like Cran-Raspberry juice. The yogurt added a little thickness and a vague creamy value. I think the easiest way to sum it up would be to imagine taking store brand cran-raspberry juice that had been opened and started to get that stale taste old juice get and mixed that with some milk.

I should have just stayed with the 2 for 99 cent taco's (hey at least you get to play guess the meat!)

PURCHASED FROM:
Jack In The Box

Blueberry Cheesecake Kit Kat Bar- Limited Edition Japan Only

One of the things I love the most about Japanese products in general is that they love to try all sorts of new flavors on favorite products.
One of those products has become Kit Kat bars. Much like Pokey there are dozens of flavors (granted most are limited edition) at any given time. I wish we did more of that here. This is actually the first of the Japanese Kit Kat's I have had the opportunity to try and I would like to give a shout out to my friends at Jlist.Com for sending me out a sample to try.

The Blueberry Cheesecake Kit Kat is a cheesecake flavored chocolate with blueberry cream cheese spread between the layers.

The chocolate it's self looks like white chocolate (and since the label is entirely in Japanese I am going to assume that it is) The bar it's self smells like berry flavored cereal. There is a oaty, cereal quality to it. Trying to isolate the chocolate was difficult. About all I can tell you is that it is very sweet and does have a tangy cheesecake like flavor to it.

Although you can't see any tell-tale signs of blueberry once you bite into the finger there is no question that they are there. If you have ever had the blueberry pancake syrup at Ihop you know exactly what the filling tastes like. It's very, very sweet and there is no tartness to it- near the end you start to think it should be sour but in reality it just seems slightly less sweet.

Maybe I am just way to fond of Ihop syrup but I really liked these. Because they were so sweet I couldn't eat more then a couple fingers at a time but I really wish they would bring these to the states- until then at least there is Jlist!


PURCHASED FROM:
Provided by Jlist.com

Yoplait Light- Blueberry Patch Yogurt

This may be hands down the BEST blueberry yogurt period!
Not only does this yogurt have the perfect balance of sweet and tangy base flavor.
But rather then having just a swirl of blueberry on the bottom or the top, it has whole large blueberries! What could possibly be better then entire, plump berries?!

This is one of those products I can only gush over.

PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket

BlueBerry Pop Tarts

Pop Tarts. Has there ever been a better vehicle for thin frosting and somewhat real fruit filling?

No, no there has not.
Much like the long time feud between Barry Manilow fans and Neil Diamond fans, there is a similar school of thought with Pop Tart eaters. You either like them hot and toasty or straight from the box. I am a straight from the box eater.

I love the blueberry tarts. The blueberry filling is tart without being bitter. But at the same time it is not so sweet that it is not believable as once having been real fruit. I seem to remember the frosting on top being thicker in the old days and having real sprinkles rather then what appears to be faux sprinkles on the top. But that's ok. As I get older I should probably eat less frosting anyway.
The pastry was also soft and tender and relatively flavorless- but why get in the way of the sugar.

While I am sure there are certainly better breakfast foods out there these will always be one of my favorites.
PURCHASED FROM:
Albertsons Supermarket

Arby's Berry Delight Swirl Shake

My old stand by Jamochca has a new friend
And who doesn't want to get to know their old friends new friends?

In this case I should have minded my own business.
It was near impossible to pull up any sort of information on this shake online. Even Arby's own website barely had a mention of it. It's a nice enough looking shake. Deep pink in color with a dark berry swirl.

But how does it taste. Well, it's less like a milk shake and more like really cold strawberry yogurt- mixed with cough syrup. As best I could find out from my Googling the shake is supposed to be a combination of blueberries and raspberries. The raspberries I got because the swirl when tasted on it's own is clearly raspberry. Oh, it's fake raspberry but at least you know what it is. They had me with the blueberries. I never would have guessed that.

I couldn't begin to tell you what the base is because it neither tastes like ice cream or has the mouth feel of ice cream. It's thin and on the watery side and overly aerated. To be honest it was vile to the point I couldn't even get half way through it.

Yeah... this was not exactly delightful.

PURCHASED FROM:
Arby's

Dagoba- Lavender Organic Chocolate Bar

As you may have read I LOVED New Tree's Tranquility bar
And with that in mind the Dagoba bar had a lot to live up to.
The Dagoba bar is much smaller then the New Tree bar- 2 oz. Vs 2.80 oz. but the Dagoba bar is much smaller so the bar is thicker- which I liked. The Dagoba is 59% dark chocolate as opposed to the milk chocolate in the Dagoba bar. As good as New Tree's milk chocolate I love dark chocolate and always choose it over milk. Dagoba also features blueberries in they're bar.

The smell of the dark chocolate and the lavender is heavenly- really is there a more relaxing smell in the world?. I could easily fall asleep to dreams of eating chocolate off of Alton Brown with this bar next to me (did I say that out loud?)

Taste. Well, like most good fantasies the reality tends to be a little different (example, Alton Brown is married- and not to me) The chocolate is pretty good. Rich and slightly bitter and has a great snap to it. The dominant flavor by far however is the lavender. The subtle kiss of lavender from the New Tree bar is more like a a full on body press in the the Dagoba bar. Honestly it is too much. Rather then giving a fresh and floral note it ends up tasting medicinal and soapy. As for the blueberry the only hint that it is even there is that in some bites you will end up with small pieces of dried fruit and since lavender doesn't look like dried fruit I assumed it was the blueberry. Again there was no discernible taste and to tell the truth I did not like the rough dryness of the fruit messing with the smooth melt of the chocolate.

In the end the Dagoba bar can't hold a candle to the New Tree bar, But I do give them credit for the use of dark chocolate over milk and for the outstanding aroma.

PURCHASED FROM:
Zabars NYC

Trident Wild Blueberry Twist

Wild blueberry Twist is actually blueberry and Pomegranate flavored.


Since I like both of those things this looked pretty promising.
The first thing that hits you when you open the package is the incredibly strong, scent of cheap blueberry candles- you know the ones that even the dollar stores have to mark down because they are so horrible. The scent by the way seems to get stronger as you chew the gum. Not so great for anyone that is standing near by.

Ignoring the aroma and pressing on to actually chew the gum... The taste is quite good. If you like Pom Wonderful Pom/Blueberry juice you will love the gum. The flavor is almost exactly alike.

I say almost because what kills it is the aftertaste from the use of Xylitol. It's not that I don't like the bitter, medicinal, fake sugar taste but you would think there would be some better magic chemical they could use.
On a bittersweet note the all around flavor for good and bad wears off very quickly- if you get a good ten minutes out of it you are lucky.

An interesting chew but it could have been a lot better.

Blueberry Monster Crunch Cereal

First person to bag on me for eating Disney brand kids cereal meets my Smurfy wrath!

YES- there are cartoon monsters on the box. NO- it did not come with a cool toy- But I liked it anyway! (would have liked it better with a toy...)

I think the best way to describe it would be to tell you to imagine Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Instead of ribbons of cinnamon it's the same faux "toast" studded with "blueberries" and covered in sugar!

As far as the blueberry flavor goes I will give them points. It's not exactly a natural blueberry but it doesn't have the super sweet fake flavor of say "Boo Berry"

Not the best cereal ever but I would buy it again.

Snapple Out Of The Blueberry Tea

I know what your thinking- Blueberry tea? BLACH!

The blueberry manages to avoid the two biggest problems most blueberry flavored items have. One being the sic kingly sweet fake blueberry pie flavor and the other the extremely sour pucker that gives the consumer a serious case of CBF.

The blueberry here is a perfect balance of sweet/tart with just a hint of a mellow tea in the background. excellent and refreshing.