Chipotle Mexican Grill: Barbacoa Burrito

There is a Chipotle Mexican Grill within walking distance of my front door. Despite this fact, I have been there a total of three times in the last nine years. It's not that I really have anything against Chipotle -- it's just that on the occasions when I did eat there, I found the food to be bland. And to be brutally honest, as I live in Southern California, there are just too many far superior Mexican food options to found. (Some of which I could also walk to were I not a lazy bastardess -- I know that's not really a word, I just don't care.)

My favorite place is a mere 10 minute drive from me (with traffic -- and there is always traffic), located in what is euphemistically called the "working class" part of town. The place is packed with customers regardless of the time of day. Local PD is always in the parking lot, and there are always armed guards on site -- and yes, I mean armed as in really carrying guns. I've never seen anything go down in there, but I have watched enough "Gangland" to spot gang tats, and I am sure the police and guards are there for a reason. You will wait in line a minimum of 20 minutes to place your order, and then another 10 at least before your food is ready for pickup. There's no drive-thru, and there is no guaranteeing that the person taking your order will speak English, so you'd better know basic Spanish or bring a friend who does. So why go through all of that? Because if there is such a thing as Heaven on Earth, I am pretty sure it's smothered in their red sauce and served between warm corn tortillas. And I have often braved the above described conditions to get their carne asada tacos at 1:00 A.M. because they are just that good.



But lately Gigi has not been physically at her best, and sometimes I am just not up to the rigors required to get my ethereal Mexican treats. And this is where Chipotle comes in: I wanted something Mexican, and I have a friend who likes to tease me that I am a picky eater (does he even read this blog?!) and he is a big fan of Chipotle's Barbacoa Burrito. So I tossed caution to the wind and said why not. Rather than going to my beloved taco heaven, I went to the distinctly less celestial Chipotle.

How did it work out for me?

Well, I will give Chipotle points for a couple things:

1. In a world where many fast food joints have about 400 offerings -- most of which they should never even attempt -- Chipotle keeps the menu pretty bare-bones and simple. I think that for the most part this is the way to go. Do a select set of items and do them well, instead of 10 good items and 390 mediocre ones. The question for this review is, did Chipotle do it well?

2. The burritos are HUGE. Take a look at the pictures here -- that's not a mere saucer or salad plate my burrito is sitting on; it's a 10-inch dinner plate. I have no idea how much it weighs, but it is big enough that biting into it if you have a small mouth is nearly impossible, and attempting to anyway makes for a huge mess. I couldn't finish even half of it at a sitting. (Of course, re-wrapped and re-heated, it did make for a nice snack later.)



You get to choose what fillings go into your burrito, so here's what I had put in mine:

Barbacoa beef (which is shredded beef that is spiced with things like adobo and cumin, garlic, etc.)
Cilantro-lime rice
Pinto beans
Sour cream
Guacamole
Cheese.

Let's be honest, there is not much to say about pinto beans and sour cream. Mind, I have had some home cooked pintos that I would sell my brother for (seriously). But these are just...well, they're just beans, not bad, not great, just kinda there.

The guacamole: I know the website talks about how it's hand mashed and seasoned until it's "silky, sexy and delicious" (that is a direct quote), but frankly it tasted simply like salty, mashed avocado. And I can live with that.

The cheese...well, it's gringo cheese. If you were hoping for queso fresco...um, well...sorry...but it's shredded Monterrey Jack. Again it's not bad, it just is.

The cilantro-lime rice is simply steamed white rice with a squirt of lime juice and some cilantro mixed in. I'll give them points for it not being sticky or starchy. But again, it's generic white rice, and even with the citrus and cilantro it's kinda bland. I really can't say much else one way or the other.



The barbacoa beef: This is the one thing I really liked. The meat is very lean and super tender. I like my spicy food to be spicy, and while on my personal 1-to-11 heat scale this rates about a 3, I can understand how those with less spice tolerance would place it at a 7 or maybe higher. It at least made the rest of the perfectly serviceable but otherwise boring ingredients seem a bit more zippy.

Would I go out of my way to have this again? Honestly, as long as my "taco heaven" is open, I can't say that I would. It's not that any of the ingredients are bad; it's just that the meal as a whole -- even being helped by the barbacoa -- is a little too bland for me to get excited about.




PURCHASED FROM:
Chipotle Mexican Grill

PRICE:
$6.10

CALORIES:
980 per burrito...roughly. That's based on the ingredient information on the official website, and assumes the maker used company-perfect portioning of ingredients.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
chipotle.com

Carl's Jr. Teriyaki Six Dollar Burger

Every single time I see ads for this sandwich, all I can think of is the Big Kahuna Burger that has been featured in probably every Quentin Tarantino movie (and some of Robert Rodriguez's, as well). And Samuel L. Jackson did say that it was a mighty tasty burger. Who am I to argue with Motherfarking Samuel L. Jackson? When Samuel says something is good, you take his motherfarking word for it, motherfarker!

Unless you're me, and then you still try it for yourself -- risking life, limb, and likely a motherfarking pimp slap.

Carl's Jr. offers several versions of this burger, including single, double, and Six Dollar version. Since the only meat from Carl's that I really like is the Six Dollar burger, that's what I got.



The burger is served on a sesame seed bun with teriyaki glaze, grilled pineapple, two slices of Swiss cheese, red onion, lettuce, tomato and (normally) mayo. Sorry guys, just like when I reviewed the Chicken Teriyaki sandwich, I just can't hang with the idea of mayo and teriyaki sauce together. I know this sort of goes against my review-it-as-it-comes mantra -- but I have made peace with it, and so should you.



The lettuce, of course, is the standard fast food Iceberg, so there's some crunch. The tomatoes added a nice, juicy bite. The Swiss cheese...well, it's there, and it's a cheese-type product. It's not bad, it's not good, it's just sort of there. As for the bread, I always like Carl's buns. They toast well and hold up to even the goopiest of toppings.



Much like the chicken version, the pineapple is canned, but it is sweet and juicy. The teriyaki sauce really stands up well to the Six Dollar patty -- which is thicker and more peppery than the "normal" patties. It's salty, but the meat cuts it better than the chicken version did. And yes, like the chicken version, once the sandwich cools down the sauce does seem more intense. It's true that this burger is every bit as messy as it looks on TV, but that's OK because it is also every bit as good as you would hope.



PURCHASED FROM:
Carl's Jr.

CALORIES:
840 calories per sandwich.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
carlsjr.com

Taco Bell: Classic Margarita Frutista Freeze

Yes folks, we may have hit a new low as a society. Did you know that they are now serving faux-Margaritas at Taco Bell?

Let's all be brutally honest. For the most part, there are really only two reasons that people eat at Taco Bell:

1. You are poor, and you can get an absurd amount of food on the cheap.

-AND-

2. You are really stoned or drunk (or both) and it just sounds like a really good idea. (And there are always the times when you are simultaneously poor, stoned, and/or drunk...and again, damned if Taco Bell just doesn't sound good).

I admit it: the only times I eat there are when I am either too poor to afford anything else, or I am drunk and it sounds good (someone else drives, I assure you).

It stands to reason that if you are eating there because it's so cheap, you probably cannot afford to buy the ingredients to mix a real margarita for yourself, nor to go to the bar for one. And why should a little thing like money keep you from the limey goodness of a margarita? Well, once again, Taco Bell has your back. Yes, I realize that there may be adults out there that just want the flavor without the alcohol. But jokes aside, I have a feeling that these drinks will appeal more to 14-year-old girls who order them because it makes them feel sophisticated.

Cost issues notwithstanding, I have to admit that my inner mixologist -- the snooty side of me who is a cocktail snob, and thinks that cocktails or even mocktails should only be made with freshly squeezed juices from actual fruit and not little plastic fruit shaped bottles -- is somewhat horrified at this whole concept. Oh, how I would love to be Audrey Saunders when I grow up...

However, the actual working bartender in me is nudging the mixologist part of me aside with the pointy swizzle stick of reality. Do you love any of the myriad flavored margaritas that are so popular with aging suburban women who like to fancy themselves part of a Sex and The City-style ensemble of friends? (I call those drinks Momgaritas, BTW.) If so, the fact is that you are 99% assured of drinking something that relies heavily on batches of flavored base. Those bases may taste like fruit juices, but they usually aren't. And in the case of virgin margaritas, unless the bar cuts the drink with a bit of lemonade or soda (which I am firmly against), all you are getting is a pre-made sour mix either frozen or over ice. Some places even use the same brands you can buy in the supermarket. So unless your neighborhood bar is owned and operated by dedicated cocktail purists, this prefab stuff is what you're going to get. And as far as the chains go...well, let's put it this way: Your local TGI McFunster's ain't run by cocktail purists. Period. None of the chains ever are.

Anyway...my point to all of this is that even for Taco Bell, it should be pretty hard to screw up a virgin margarita.



So, will I be wasting the day away in Tacobellritaville, sucking down faux-ritas while regretting the three gorditas I probably ate alongside? Erm...probably not.

First off, the color is weird. It's a rather bizarre shade of peachy-green. I could have understood dirty ice, or plain green, or even yellowish green. But peachy? The hell...?

And then there's the flavor. It's like the industrial chemical love child of a lime Otter Pop and floor cleaner. There is nothing remotely margaritalike about it except that it's (unpleasantly) lime flavored. Need I remind you again how hard to is to screw up a virgin margarita? You literally could go to the store, buy the cheapest bottle of sour mix, toss it over some ice in a glass rimmed with table salt, and it would still taste more like a "real" margarita than this did.



Hell, even as a limeade it never really gets past "meh" level.

Is it the worst thing on the Taco Bell menu? No, but it's not good either. Taco Bell also offers a Strawberry Margarita -- and the only difference is that the strawberry version features the strawberry puree-type topping they use on all of the strawberry Frutistas. I skipped it.

I should have skipped this, too.



PURCHASED FROM:
Taco Bell

PRICE:
$1.99

CALORIES:
454 Calories for 16 ounces.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Does not contain alcohol or fruit juice.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
tacobell.com

Carl's Jr. Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich

I have a loudly professed dislike of chicken. I have said so in more than one review, and those that know me in real life know that I next to never eat it for non-review purposes. (And as you can look up for yourself, there's not a huge amount of chicken reviews to be found here.) "But Gigi," you are probably screaming at your computer right now, "Everybody loves chicken!" If by "everybody" you mean the rest of the universe minus me, then yes, I guess you are right. Me, personally...not so much. It has actually been said to me that perhaps if I could just learn to embrace if not to downright like or even love chicken, that perhaps the vast forces of the universe will see fit to conjoin all of its infinite powers upon me, the glow of good karma will start to smile upon me, my chakras would align, the Force would be with me, and...I dunno, there might be rainbows.

All of that sounded pretty deep, and I like to think that I am open-minded and reasonably non-picky. And if at least attempting to becomes friends with the humble chicken is what it takes to get in better with the universe, well, ya know what? I am down!



Jamie Oliver may have cured me of ever wanting a chicken nugget again for life -- and I cannot thank Jamie enough, but that is an entire other post. Nuggets might be out, but a grilled chicken breast sandwich? Well, that certainly had potential. (Hear that, universe? I said it had potential!) This sandwich also had the good luck to be made of the same grilled meat that the only other chicken sandwich I happen to like is also made from (I do truly like the Carl's Jr. Santa Fe Chicken Sandwich), and this sandwich has teriyaki sauce! Does that get me extra cool points, I wonder? Besides, who doesn't like teriyaki?

Yes, Carl's Jr.'s Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich consists of a charbroiled chicken breast, teriyaki glaze, a grilled pineapple slice, melted Swiss cheese, tomato, mayo, red onion, and lettuce all sitting on a honey wheat bun. (You may notice my sandwich is on a white bun -- my local Carl's Jr. was out of the honey wheat bun, so...)



So after all of that, am I not one with the Universe or what?

The teriyaki glaze is good, sweet, just a little salty. It would actually be good enough on its own to eat over steamed rice. Caveat: I say that about the sauce while it is still warm. Once it cools down, it seems to become saltier and a little stronger. It's still not bad, but it does change.

The lettuce and onion add a little crunch but not much flavor. But the lettuce is the standard Iceberg, and it's red onion, which is very mild to begin with, so that's no surprise. The tomato on mine was a single slice and added some tang. The pineapple is sweet and tastes exactly as you would expect a fast food pineapple to taste -- yeah, from a can, but let's be fair: It's canned pineapple, and it's pretty hard to screw up canned pineapple rings. I have to admit I had them skip the mayo. I know that's kind of cheating, since it comes with mayo by default, but I just could not stomach the thought of mayo and teriyaki together. It might be great, and maybe someone who has eaten it will chime in. But I skipped it.

The Swiss cheese: There is indeed a cheese slice. It's fast food Swiss cheese, which is to say it's melty but there is not a lot of taste. It's simply there. I wouldn't go out of my way to get it, and if they forgot to put it on I probably wouldn't miss it.



The chicken: Again, for all the bagging I do on chicken, I actually do like the grilled breasts used by Carl's. They are lean, relatively juicy, and they aren't tough or gristly as a rule -- and this particular breast was no exception. It does in fact have that fire-grilled taste. I usually ask them to put a little extra char on mine because I like that.

So... did I like the sandwich or not? Actually, yes I did. I liked it a lot. Personally, I would always have it on the white bun, and I would continue to skip the mayo -- but I would definitely order this again.

So, Universe, I have taken a tiny step forward. Do I love chicken or even like it? Well, that's still going a little far...but maybe if I put some trust in you hopefully you will put some back in me. There is hope... or something deep and mystical like that.



PURCHASED FROM:
Carl's Jr.

PRICE:


CALORIES:
510 calories per sandwich.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
carlsjr.com

Taco Bell: Pacific Shrimp Taco

OK, every now and then a product comes along that there is just no way in hell I am going to skip reviewing. This is one of those products.

There's just something about the trio of words -- Taco, Bell, and Shrimp -- that seems like it doesn't really belong of this world. Now, don't get me wrong. For all the bagging I do on Taco Bell, I actually do like some of their food. And I do in fact eat there once every couple of months or so. (I try not to eat too much fast food in general.) It's just that there seems to be a line in the sand that Taco Bell should maybe not cross.



I love shrimp tacos, and I am lucky enough to live in an area where getting good fish or shrimp tacos is not difficult. Heck, I can literally walk across the street from my apartment and get one that's fairly decent. So with that in mind, why would I even give Taco Bell a shot?

Do you guys even have to ask me that question?

Each taco consists of a soft flour tortilla, lettuce, Fiesta Salsa (Taco Bell's version of pico de gallo), avocado ranch sauce, and six shrimp that have been marinated in "spices" (Wow! That's descriptive!) and then cooked by...well, I don't know how they're cooked, because the Taco Bell website doesn't say and the Taco Bell employee looked at me like I was nuts when I asked.



Of course I go into this knowing that the shrimp are frozen. And I have no problem with that. Let's be realistic: unless you're lucky enough to live someplace where shrimp are harvested locally -- for example, the coastal regions of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, etc. -- the truth is that pretty much all the shrimp we eat are frozen. I understand that and I accept it.

Sadly, the shrimp in my taco were quite rubbery. Fairly sized (slightly bigger than a quarter), but rubbery. The spice blend seems to be mostly black pepper, onion, and garlic powders. If you've ever made a generic boxed Spanish-style rice, it's sort of like that...edible, perhaps even decent, though you'd never see it in a good paella.



My taco had very little of the avocado ranch sauce. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It just tasted like generic ranch dressing to me. The "Fiesta Salsa" was good -- but it always is as a rule, and of course pico de gallo is so basic that it's kind of hard to mess it up. It has nice chunks of ripe tomato and just the right amount of cilantro. There is also the obligatory -- for fast food, anyway -- shredded iceberg lettuce. It's nothing special, but believe me, you could do far worse.

In the end, even with the rubbery shrimp, it's not a bad taco. It's just a forgettable one.



PURCHASED FROM:
Taco Bell

PRICE:
$2.79

CALORIES:
180 calories per taco.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
Contains shellfish, eggs, milk, and wheat.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
tacobell.com

McDonald's Shamrock Shake

Once a year, McDonald's bestows upon us what a much younger Gigi thought was just the single coolest shake ever: The Shamrock Shake, in honor of St. Patrick's Day.

The Shamrock shake is a shade of bright green that reminds one of freshly rendered Leprechauns -- and, as you can probably guess, it is mint flavored. Until today, I don't think I have had one since roughly 2003.



The shake smells a bit like a breath mint..and actually it kinda tastes like one too. It reminds me a lot of those Starbright mints (the classic red and white swirled disk mints found often when leaving doctor's offices or restaurants). It's a brisk peppermint that is mixed with vanilla. It's good, but it's such a strong mint that it almost comes off as medicinal. Drinking this shake "straight" reminds me of why in the past I always preferred to have the Shamrock base mixed 50/50 with the chocolate shake. (I would have ordered it that way this time, but I considered that cheating on the review). Personally, I think the mint tastes much better mixed in with something else than it does on its own.



The texture is good. It's very thick, but still easy to get through the straw. It's a really aerated base, so it's almost fluffy at the same time.

I admit, Older Gigi is not nearly as fond of this shake as Younger Gigi was. (Although the addition of chocolate would have helped.) It's not bad, but kinda like an overly eager date -- it just comes off as trying too hard. If it were just a little more subtle, that would make a huge difference.



PURCHASED FROM:
McDonald's

PRICE:
$1.99 small size (12 oz)

CALORIES:
420 calories per 12 oz shake.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
mcdonalds.com

Carl's Jr. Double Grilled Cheese Bacon Burger

I love burgers on sourdough, and I love grilled cheese. And I love grilled cheese on sourdough. And since we all know it's physically impossible for bacon to do anything but improve whatever it's put on, this burger had to be a winner -- right?



Yeah, actually it is.

The sourdough bread is nicely toasted, but it doesn't have much flavor. Nonetheless it stands up well to all the cheese and grease.

The cheese blend is a mix of Swiss & American. And just in case you still had an artery or two sort of functioning amidst the cheese, there are the meat patties. And the bacon. Oh, and then the whole thing is slathered with mayonnaise. Quadruple bypass for dessert, anyone?



The beef patties are juicy and taste like they were actually grilled.

The bacon...well, it's like instant, ready-made bacon. But bad bacon is still kinda like bad sex. At least you can say you've had it.



Yes, it's a nutritional nightmare...but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't pretty awesome. It actually reminds me of a perfect hybrid of my two favorite Jack In The Box menu items -- the Sourdough Jack and the Ultimate Cheeseburger. (I am sure neither company is going to be happy I said that. But it was meant as a compliment.)

God, I feel so dirty. But I'm still smiling.



PURCHASED FROM:
Carl's Jr.

PRICE:
$3.49

CALORIES:
1,020. (I know, but this is a sometimes food.)

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
carlsjr.com

McDonald's Mac Snack Wrap

The Mac Snack Wrap has been around for more than a year now. But I don't often eat McDonald's, and when I do, it is hard to resist the allure of a Quarter Pounder (no onions, no ketchup, add Mac sauce). And since I've been asked a couple times in the past if I'd tried the Mac Snack Wrap yet -- no, I hadn't -- I figured today was the day.

The Mac Snack Wrap is made up of half of a Quarter Pounder patty, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions (I had mine without), special sauce, and then the whole thing is wrapped in a flour tortilla.



The other reason I have resisted trying this is that I tend to not like wraps. I like tortillas (a lot!), and I like wraps that I make myself. But I hate how prepared wraps often end up either dry or gummy. Well, give points to McDonald's for keeping the tortilla neither gummy nor hard. It's a lot like biting into a burrito.

All of the essential flavors of a Big Mac are there. The only real difference is the mouth feel. I found myself missing the bun (yes, I confess...I do actually like McDonald's buns as a rule). Because McDonald's is only a "sometimes" food for me, I don't feel terribly guilty about having an actual Big Mac when I indulge. For those who eat there more than I do, and are trying to watch the calories, this might be a good alternative.



The Mac Snack Wrap has 330 calories (170 from fat) versus the standard Big Mac at 540 calories (260 from fat). I will grant that there are much healthier options out there. But if you simply must have a Big Mac, this does allow you another choice.

Be sure to watch Marvo's Impulsive Buy Podcast #12 and watch his review of the Mac Snack Wrap here.



PURCHASED FROM:
McDonald's

PRICE:
$1.49

CALORIES:
330 calories per wrap

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
mcdonalds.com

KFC Fiery Grilled Wings

As you may have guessed by now, I will try pretty much anything with the words "fiery" or "hot" in the title. I looooooove spicy food the way Eric Cartman loves Cheesy Poofs. My main complaint with most mass-marketed "spicy" items is that they tend to be quite low on the heat scale. Yes, I know there are many people who consider the mild sauce at Taco Bell to be the spiciest thing known to man. (Fact: Taco Bell's mild sauce is so tame that my cat laps it up if I leave an opened packet unattended.) And I think most mass-marketed "spicy" food is made with those people in mind.



So how would KFC's new Fiery Grilled Wings rate? The wings are actually marinated in peppers and spices and then grilled, resulting in a hot, hot wing.



That sounds all puppies and rainbows but how does it really taste?

Actually, they're pretty good. Do I personally think they are hot or spicy? HELLLLLL NO! On my personal one-to-ten heat scale, they are maybe, maybe a two at their strongest. But I am going to agree with Marvo's review (read it here) and say that I think most people would rate them about a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10.



The overall flavor is like KFC and El Pollo Loco had a sort of a love child. There's a nice peppery bite, but it also has that faux-grilled taste that I don't really like in the regular grilled product -- but it works well here.

These are some good wings! OK, they can't begin to compete with the absolutely orgasmic wings you'll find in any number of scary-looking independent barbecue joints throughout the Deep South, I will concede that. But for fast food wings...this is truly about as good as they come.

Carl's Jr: Parmesan Chicken Sandwich

Going to New York City? Well, deep in the largely-ignored borough of the Bronx, there is an Italian restaurant you will probably not find in a tourist guide book for New York City -- not because it isn't worthy, but because the people who write guide books treat the Bronx as if it doesn't exist. And let me tell you, that is a shame. Because Fratelli serves food so good that I spend the greater part of the year craving it (should you go, do not miss the calamari!). Every time I visit New York I make sure to eat at Fratelli least once...and you should, too. I've never had their Chicken Parmesan, but I am certain that it is nothing other than ethereal...

(*insert deliriously happy Fratelli-inspired sigh here*)

Eh...returning to real life here in Southern California, where good Italian food is as rare as an honest politician...I'm now reviewing something vaguely, somewhat, remotely Italian-style: specifically, Carl's Jr's Parmesan Chicken sandwich. Is there any chance it is going to compete with Fratelli's? Pfffffft, yeah, on what frickin planet???

But, could it prove to be a good fast food option?

That's a different matter, so let's find out.



Nestled inside a sesame seeded bun is a fried chicken breast slathered with marinara sauce on the top and the bottom, with a slice of melted Parmesan cheese.



The bun, eh, it's a fast food bun. I happen to like the buns Carl's uses. There is nothing special about them, but they do hold up well to sauces and are tasty enough.

I am sure this is the same fried chicken breast that Carl's uses on other sandwiches. It's got that "country chicken" type breading on it. A little too peppery, but that's the worst I can say about it. The meat itself is moist and lean.

The sauce is...well, it's generic canned tomato sauce. Fans of canned sauce may consider this their lucky day. It also tastes strongly of red bell pepper. I hate red bell peppers, so for me this was not a good thing. And it is needlessly sweet in the way that I find nearly all pre-made red sauces to be.

The cheese...what, that was cheese? Really? When did Goodyear start making cheese?

OK, I can see where small children (and some adults) who are not picky about their Italian-style foods may like this. Me, not so much. In fact, I thought it was damned nasty. The chicken and bun were tolerable, but the sauce and the so-called cheese were absolutely horrifying. I couldn't finish even half the sandwich. When my chicken sandwich craving comes up (about once every three years) I will stick with Carl's Charbroiled Santa Fe Chicken sandwich, which is truly good.

Bottom line, avoid this one. Instead, go to the Bronx and have dinner at Fratelli. You'll be happy you did.


PURCHASED FROM:

Carl's Jr

GU8H44R9W425

Taco Bell: Black Jack Taco

I may be the last reviewer on the planet who hasn't reviewed the new Black Jack taco from Taco Bell.

Not sure why it has taken me this long. I mean, it's got a black shell! How many black foods are there out there? (Don't answer that.) I tend to dress in head-to-toe black, and at the moment my hair is on the dark side, so why didn't this cute little basic black item grab my attention earlier? I dunno...but now, thanks to the Black Jack taco, I can look totally emo even while eating! (Wait...you mean emo isn't cool anymore?)



The Black Jack taco is pretty much a regular Taco Bell taco, but in a black shell. It's topped with the standard issue iceberg lettuce and shredded American cheese, topped with a "pepper jack sauce." Well, that last sounded awfully familar...and I confirmed with the Taco Bell staff that the "pepper jack sauce" doubles as the "Baja sauce" used on the Baja Gorditas. But I happen to like the Baja sauce, so that was a good thing as far as I am concerned.



So how did taste? Honestly, it tasted like a Taco Bell taco with Baja sauce. Beyond the cool color of the shell, there's nothing here that isn't already on the standard menu.

The meat has that slightly spicy, soft texture that Taco bell is known for.

The Baja sauce -- sorry, pepper jack sauce -- is good for what it is. It's creamy, a little zesty. It certainly isn't very spicy, nor very cheesy. But it's decent as a mass-produced condiment.

Well, at least it looks cool! (Check out Marvo's review here.)



PURCHASED FROM:
Taco Bell