Mr. Kipling Cherry Bakewells

As best I can tell from my afternoon of Googling (what did we do before Google?), Mr. Kipling products are sort of the Entenmann's of the U.K. -- beloved, and found quite easily. This box was recommended to me by one of the very nice saleswomen at The British Emporium (sorry, I can't find a web site for them) in Upland, California.

Each little tart is made of an almond-flavored sponge cake, fondant icing, a somewhat confusing raspberry flavored plum jam (why not just use raspberry jam?), and a half cherry on the top (apparently the only actual cherry in the cherry tart). The photo on the box made each little treat look like it should be the star of tea time, and Mr. Kipling himself -- well, the box, anyway -- says they are exceptionally good. But are they?

Each tart is in its own individual mini tin, and does in fact look pretty darn similar to the photo on the box. It cuts cleanly, and has the almond-cherry smell of marzipan.



Yeah, yeah, but does it taste good?

Well, the crust is far more delicate than you might expect. In fact, when you bite into it the tart begins to fall apart. And the crust itself doesn't really have much flavor.

The fondant is grainy, and has no real flavor beyond sweet. Eating it on its own made my teeth hurt. The almond sponge cake layer was moist enough, but only had the faintest hint of almond flavor. There is very little jam in the odd raspberry flavored plum jam layer, but what's there is very good and does in fact taste like raspberry. (Is there a raspberry shortage in the U.K. or something?! I just don't get it.) The glacé cherry is...well, it's a glacé cherry. Not much else to say.

The texture of the whole thing was terrific. It's moist, it's flaky, it's a little sticky from the fondant, and a little grainy from the jam. I don't think they could improve on that if they tried.



As for the overall flavor: It has that mass-produced, industrial taste (or shortage thereof) that one expects of institutional food. Mind you, I wasn't expecting something that came fresh-baked out of an actual tea house. But even with that bland taste,the texture is so great that the only real issue is the forgettable flavors. Not bad, but just barely there. If the flavors were a little stronger, I would be all over these. As is, they are nice enough but not memorable in any way at all.



PURCHASED FROM:
The British Emporium (Upland, California)

Walkers Shortbead Mincemeat Tarts with Glenfiddich Whiskey

Since the holidays are scarily enough just around the corner (as the Christmas decorations already on sale at my local Wal*Mart will attest) I thought I would get a jump on them with a review that kind of screams Thanksgiving to me...
C'mon I know it's not just me- mincemeat is such so Thanksgivingy (that's a word right?). I should be clear that I only like the all fruit version of mincemeat and not the version that actually contains meat- which I know has it's fans, I am just not one of them. Lucky for me this is a meat free version.

I am not sure why but I had thought that the tarts were going to be little tiny bite size tarts. To my happy surprise each tart is about the diameter of a cupcake- they are even in they're own little tins! (we all know I am a sucker for cute packaging)

There is also instantly no doubt that the tarts are in fact made with the Glenfiddich scotch- very generously at that. The first thing you smell is that lovely, lovely scotch. Just as smooth as Sean Connery in his Bond days.

The tart shell is made up of soft and flaky shortbread. The mincemeat is moist and juicy. These were just all around good. I would love to try these warm, maybe with a nice scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side.

Starbuck's Holiday Milk Chocolate Bar

Ho, Ho, No!


The holiday bar from Starbucks is a hefty 3 .oz's of chocolate. The bar has cute impressions of holiday words and shape and the bar has a nice crisp snap to it. Unfortunately, it is a pretty crappy chocolate. Honestly I am surprised and disappointed by how bad it is.

The chocolate is overly sweet and oily tasting. The texture is gritty and slow to melt. It reminded me of the nightmare bastard love child of Hershey's and Palmer's "chocolate".
I couldn't even bring myself to give this to someone I didn't like... Ok that's a lie- I could do that. But I would like to think that I am nice enough not to.
Save your calories and get a pastry instead.

PURCHASED FROM:
Starbucks