Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tony's Crispy Crust Party Time Cheese Pizza

My love for cheap and generally questionable quality frozen pizza is pretty well documented...

With that said, let me begin by saying that if I had a party and served this pizza to my friends, they would no longer be my friends.

Let's start with the crust. I am not sure where Tony is from, but he is apparently in his own little world. Doughy and chewy translates into "crispy." (Perhaps this is the same land where Tall means small and Grande means medium and people actually care that Paula Abdul is not returning to American Idol). The shape is also something Tony evidently made up after a night of heavy drinking. "Scround?" What the hell is "scround?" It's not really square, it's not really round, and it's not really good.

As for the sauce...

Well, let's be fair; the sauce on these cheap frozen things is never really good. But even with that disclaimer, this sauce is dreadful. It doesn't resemble any sort of pizza sauce from this planet. It's like cheap, store-brand ketchup that was mixed heavily with sugar. Only less good.

I don't even want to discuss the "cheese." I have had enough trauma for one day.

Just spend the extra 10 cents and get something, anything else. This was truly horrible.

Albertsons Supermarket


Bear Silber said...

ZERO! Huh? That's crazy! Not that I disagree...but that means there is not one single redeeming quality....did it at least "clean the system out?"....even if it did that I think that's be worthy of a 1/2 star. It must've been the equivalent of eating those corn "Styrofoam peanuts" :P

Brad said...

Tony's doesn't use 100% real cheese if you read the ingredients, but they do nevertheless use real cheese.

Totino's can't say the same.

That said, they are both inedible.

Gigi said...

About the only thing I could think of that would earn Tony a slightly higher rating is never having to eat it again! I think I would rater eat the foam peanut!

That "cheese" was pretty scary. Real cheese can't possibly cost that much more to use...

Mike Scott said...

Tony's turns out exactly as advertised...crisp...every time when we bake according to instructions, 400 degrees/12 minutes in a common toaster oven. A clear favorite over the equivalent Totino's product at my house.

Gigi said...

Mike: If I had any more of these in my freezer I would happily send it out to you.

Maybe it's just me. I fully admit that the Jeno's that I love so much is really pretty god awful when you think about it. I just couldn't get into this pizza and I even tried a second one.